Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
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