I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Randomize
