My Blind Date Arrived. She looks like something I'd draw with my left hand.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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