I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
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