Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Randomize
