I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
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