My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Randomize