when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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