We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
Randomize
