youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
