Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
