no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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