she looked like the before picture.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
