i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
