i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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