It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
