How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
