Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
