The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
