Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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