i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
