elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
