my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Im part way to drunk.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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