Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize