some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
