This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
She announced her abortion via fbk
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
It feels like heartburn in my lungs. I'll buy 2 pounds.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
