His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I got drunk and threw up on a kid at the amusement park. I think they're pressing charges.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
