I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
