it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
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