Our cab driver just admitted to beating up kids in the 60's who didn't smoke pot...
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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