i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
