My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
