It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I fell asleep while we were Skyping and woke up to his balls bouncing in front of the camera while he sang "Wakey Wakey!" over and over again. Merryfuckingchristmas.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
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