Do I have a sign around my neck that says "SWM desperately seeking ultra-plus-size woman that likes everything I do"? I swear they're organized
No, but you do have a sign around your neck that says "Free cupcakes."
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
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