she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
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