You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
Randomize
