I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Its about making memories worth repressing
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Explaining that I bought them at a strip club gift shop with my friend didnt make the furry handcuffs seem less weird
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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