dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
