hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
The first thing we did this morning was see if we could see her barf in the prking lot from the roof. We could. It was in 5 spaces.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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