I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
