and you said cock pushups were impossible
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
