I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
Randomize
