yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Randomize
