Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
