He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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