I smell stomach acid.
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
Randomize
