his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Randomize