are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
