I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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