There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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