I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Randomize