dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
