the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
i love accidental penises.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I fell down the stairs while taking the dog out last night. I was laying there with the dog licking me face and my neighbor just stepped over me
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize