so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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