the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
She made me pour olive oil on her.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
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