Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
