Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
It was his birthday this weekend. I had to carry him 6 blocks, in 3 inch heels. The entire time he was trying to molest me, eat my face, and try to stop every two feet to tie his shoe. He would light a cigarette, forget about it, almost burn everyone, throw it out, then decide he wanted to smoke. He kept repeating that he trusts me with his life.
...Wow...
I could be a kindergarten teacher
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
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