I just cut my nipple shaving
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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