I hate your face
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
Randomize
