just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
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