I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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