i broke my thumb. i no longer have 2 opposable thumbs. i'm sub-human. i love vicodin.
Are u religion class? I'm on my way, I have cum in my hair. tell u later.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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