Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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