you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
