his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Randomize
