It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize