She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
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