Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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