my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
